The Mono/Multi-Hull Question
Published: Tuesday, April 30, 2019
By: Bob Bitchin
So, you’re sitting in a waterfront bistro after a great day’s sail, downing your favorite libation and loving life, when you happen to hear the conversation at the next table. A young couple are discussing the beauty of sailing, and talking about the boats they had looked at that day.
Being a helpful kind of person, you good naturedly turn to them and offer your sage advice. After all, you’re a sailor and you know this kind of stuff. Why not cast forth this wisdom to those less fortunate?
So you chip in with, “Pardon me, but I couldn’t help but overhear. You guys are looking for a sailboat?”
“Why, yes, we are!” they excitedly reply. “We are looking for a cruising boat. Do you sail?”
You put on your sagest expression and answer to the affirmative, suggesting that perhaps they should consider your type of vessel.
Meanwhile, at the next table, another sailor is sitting and sipping his favorite libation. He also has overheard the conversation and, after seeing you jump in, he, of course, would like to add his two cents worth. After all, spreading knowledge is the basis for civilization, right?
However, it seems that you and he don’t see eye to eye on the best type of sailing vessel. He is the owner of a (monohull or multihull, insert your favorite here) and you happen to prefer a (monohull or multihull, insert your favorite here).
Now, being a normal human-type being, you don’t want to look stupid. If you were to allow these people to think the gentleman at table B has the right boat, that would then lead to the assumption that you have chosen the wrong type of boat. In other words, you are not so bright… also known as an idiot. Are you going to allow this person to call you an idiot? Why, of course not!
So, you chime back in with, “Oh, yeah, well, my (monohull or multihull, insert your favorite here) is a better boat than your (monohull or multihull, insert your favorite here).” And, now, my friend, you have just jammed your size thirteen up well past the knee joint into your pie hole!
You see, as you are well aware, a boat purchase is one of the largest you will make in your lifetime. One must assume that you have given grave and serious consideration to all the options, and, when you did choose, you chose the best type vessel available. Of course, the gentleman at table B went through the very same torment when buying his boat, and he feels equally as strong about his being right.
Let’s jump ahead about a half hour. You are now standing face-to-face with the gentleman at table B in the middle of the bar, and patrons are all staring at the two red-faced dunderheads hollering about how one’s (monohull or multihull, insert your favorite here) is better than the other’s (monohull or multihull, insert your favorite here). The young couple gave up a few minutes ago, have opted to take up kayaking, and have headed out to buy a good pair of Cobra Kayaks.
Face it – this is a no-win situation. If there was only one “right kind” of boat, there would be only one kind of boat being made. We wouldn’t need to think about it. The fact is: you buy a boat with your heart. You give up a few basic brain cells every time you enter your fiberglass bathtub and hoist a couple of bedsheets, actually thinking you’ll make it back to where you started with the same number of passengers you left with. It’s insane!
But it is this insanity which vitalizes us, and it comes straight from the heart.
Yet your brain must stand up and justify your heart’s decision to buy a (monohull or multihull, insert your favorite here)! If you were to lose the argument, then the gentleman from table B would be right. That would mean he was smarter than you! So here he is, standing nose-to-nose with you, still basically calling you an idiot. You let him know, in no uncertain terms, you are smarter than he is and that’s why you are right, and he is wrong!
As the harbor police arrive to drag off the two grown men who are red-faced and rolling on the floor shouting obscenities at each other while trying to beat each other into submission, a young couple glides by the patrol boat on their brand new kayaks.
“Look, Martha. Isn’t that the two nice men who were telling us about their boats?” the young man asks, as they pass the (monohull or multihull, insert your favorite here) that would have changed their life, if only you’d not offered your advice.
The moral to this story? There is none. Now, let’s go sailing!
This article first appeared in the Spring Issue (Mar/Apr) 2019 of Great Lakes Scuttlebutt magazine.
